Love is pain

Hey, guys, it's Dean. I'm in Phoenix right now, and I'm at a restaurant called Thai Basil Joe Polish and Gita and Annie Lala are here with me. And we've got our email workshop starting tomorrow. And one of the things that we were talking about at dinner was, you know, how do you capture ideas and how do you get them out into the world?

And so I'm sitting right beside Annie Lala, who happens to be married to Eben Pagan, and we were talking about how that in order to experience love. You tell me. Yeah. In order to experience love, you have to be willing to experience pain.

And in fact, just like a muscle when you go to the gym, you have to rip it and it tears and then it grows back stronger. The heart is a muscle, and the more heartbreak you're able to alchemize into strength and a willingness to experience sensations, the more capacity you have to love another person. And so while people are terrified of heartbreak, I actually see it as an opportunity to grow your ability to participate in a fulfilling relationship. So you need that in order to experience something like a pendulum that expands each way, your capacity when you.

The deeper the pain that you feel, the more love you're able to feel on the other end of it. Absolutely. Do you think it's just like that? Just like that.

So don't run away from it. We should embrace it. Well, just what you have to do is fetishize it when you go to the gym. Fetishize it.

That's the second time you said that. The last three reps are the ones that make the most difference on those machines. They're the ones that hurt the most. And so when you're in a situation, a romantic situation, and you're feeling that shit, I want out of here.

I want to give up. I'm done with this. It's those last three reps when you breathe and stay in and find a way to continue the conversation until you find. You find your partner's perspective and you and you reconnect.

And then you can alchemize the conflict into intimacy and come back stronger than you were before you had the fight. Amazing. That was okay. It was okay.

Joe Polish says that was very good, actually, and he's brilliant. So here's the thing. That little. That thought that we just had this conversation that we had, that's exactly the way that we can get ideas out into the world here.

You know that right now, what I was sharing with Annie is this right now, the fastest bandwidth way to get a thought out into the digital world is through your mouth and talking it. And so what we've done right now, the fact that we've recorded this, now that we've got a digital version of this right now, that can be transcribed and derived into an article that could be sent as an email to your people that you have on your email list. And that's a really great, easy way to sort of pick the best of the ideas that you have every time you're out and about, or anytime you've got a moment that you want to share something. So would I mail the recording out to people?

You could, of course, because the podcast is a great way. This is a really, like, multi sensory kind of way for people to. To get something to connect to you. This is.

So as soon as I'm gonna press the screen here, and then what's gonna happen is that this will be on iTunes in six minutes from right now, and everybody that subscribed to Thinking Out Loud with Dean is going to see this, and they're gonna be better for it. They're gonna know that in order to feel love, they have to be able and willing to feel pain. That's true. And so we've changed lives here.

Somebody needed that message, and look what we did. It's just over your sticky pudding and mango goodness, whatever that was that you just ate. So there we go. All right.

How do you feel? Delighted. Delighted. Awesome.

Okay, this is Dean. Thanks.